why don't criminals realize the people they love have to pay in their absence?

It's called "super-optimism", where criminal thinking always expects to achieve success in any scheme they hatch They plan meticulously, gather resources, and when it is time to go hot, they proceed with a maddening sense of optimism that for a moment they feel invisible and untouchable. There are no negative thoughts, therefore, they are not thinking about the consequences. In the end, it is blind optimism where everyone else pays for the gamble that didn't pay off.