Holidays in prison: Season can be a painful reminder of what inmates miss

Nothing brings on the pang of loneliness quite like the holidays. That can be especially true if you're behind bars.

"You can't help but be affected by holidays that celebrate humanity," said Danny Givens, who spent 12 years in prison for an aggravated assault.

Givens, who lives in Golden Valley, was 18 when he was locked up -- still just a child by some standards. He clearly remembers that first Christmas away from his family.

"It was a heavy moment," he said.

Growing up, Givens' mother made sure Christmas was a magical event. The house was decorated to the nines, gifts numbered in the dozens and Christmas dinner was a sizable family gathering.

For Bernita Givens-Osborn, the absence of her firstborn child for 12

Givens, now a minister, is celebrating his fifth holiday season back home with his family. He said his prison experience has given him the insight to be thankful for life and the everyday things -- no matter how trivial or frustrating -- that most people don't realize are a privilege of freedom.

"Missing my family on the holidays really drove that home," Givens said.

While in prison, small things helped himcelebrate the Christmas season. His mother called and visited, along with other family members. He even had some cousins in prison alongside him.

"It was sad to see. You knew who didn't have family," Givens said. "My mother always sent me a nice amount of money for Christmas, so I would do things for the other guys to try to make them feel special."

Givens, a soft-spoken 35-year-old, said isolation "messes with the human psyche."

"It's important to spend time with people who remind you of your humanity and normalcy," he said. "The guys who didn't have that became callous. It's damaging. So I made it a point to reach out."

Prison officials say they do what they can to recognize the holidays and to keep inmates connected to the outside world.

That isn't limited to Christmas. In a correctional facility, which is a diverse microcosm of the greater community, religious holidays happen year-round.

Special meals can be requested for a religious observance or holiday, and volunteers often do workshops or offer services related to holidays, said Michelle Smith, warden of the Minnesota Correctional Facility-Stillwater in Bayport.

"We cover year-round needs," Smith said. "Not necessarily because we have to, but because it's the right thing to do."

Offenders are allowed to observe holidays in different ways. A few examples: During Christmas, the Salvation Army donates toys for inmates to send to their children, and one of the units puts on a holiday skit; Wicca followers decorate a Maypole; American Indians honor the seasons with a drum and pipe ceremony; and the end of the Muslim holy month of Ramadan is marked by a celebratory feast.

Allowing inmates to celebrate their respective holidays is important, said prison chaplain Joseph Hobson.

"Wisdom would dictate that we need to be more responsive to a community whose values are different than others -- for people management and from a spiritual standpoint," he said. "We are here to help people grow."

This time of year can bring on some seasonal depression and soul-searching, Hobson said.

"Mostly I hear about anxiety issues about being away from family," he said. "They don't mention the holidays specifically, but I believe they're tied."

As Givens looks forward to this year's Christmas celebration, he's reminded of why he refuses to go back to his former life.

"This year we're a family again," he said. "This is what it's about. ... It keeps me humble. It keeps me thankful. It keeps me grateful. It could be much worse. I'm alive. I'm well. I'm healthy."

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